BDSM GlossaryAB, Adult Babies - Grown-ups who wish to be treated as babies. This can include the wearing of nappies/diapers, bottle feeding and changing. Aftercare - A period just after BDSM play where psychological or physical needs resulting from the play are addressed. Sometimes referred to as the "best part" of BDSM play because it allows for extreme intimacy, it's often overlooked by new people in the scene. Most often, the dominant person running the scene administers to the psychological or physical needs of the submissive. However, it can just as easily be the reverse, in which case it is usually the result of the play having enticed one or both partners to cross some often-hidden emotional boundary. Age Play - Role play where you and/or your partner pretend to be different ages - both young, both old, one young/one old. Algolagnia - Medical/psychological term for the love of pain. Colloquially known as "Masochism." Animal Training - Fantasy play in which one partner is the trainer and the other is the animal. Pony play, dog play, and kitty play (kitties are less likely to be trained and more likely to be pampered) are the most common forms. Some of the practices might include obedience training, exercise training, paper-training (especially in dog training), harnessing and riding, cropping, and so on. Ass (Arse) Play - Everything from drooling, spitting on, licking and eating around the asshole (rimming) to inserting dildos, beads, cocks, fists, and various other creative things (hopefully not food!) into the ass (arse). Auto-Eroticism - Do it Yourself. Masturbation. Barebacking - Engaging in anal sex without using a condom. Considered high risk for transmission of HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases. Also referred to as "raw." BDSM - It is generally accepted within the scene that these initials mean Bondage & Domination, Sadism & Masochism, but also that they are extended to Bondage & Discipline / Domination & Submission / Sadism & Masochism. Bear - Guys who are generally bigger and heavier; and, ideally, have an abundance of body hair. They usually have facial hair of some sort. Considered both a fetish and a community in the gay culture. Heavy-set guys may refer to themselves as "bearish." Biting Biting can occur in brat play, rough play, and so forth, in a kind of all-out grappling situation. Not particularly hygienic, so recommended for long-term partners only. Blindfolds - From a make-shift scarf to custom leather eye covering, blindfolds are used in bondage and D/s situations or in vanilla sex to create helplessness, dependence, vulnerability, and/or to heighten other senses and intensify sensation play. Blood Sports - Play involving cutting, piercing or the drawing of blood. Body Bag - A fully enclosed rubber bag into which the slave or submissive is sealed. Used in restriction or mummification games. Body Modification - To have the body modified by piercing or cutting. Body Worship - To kiss or lick the Master/Mistress's body. Often the legs, feet or anus. Bondage - The generic term for practicing tying or restraint. Bondage takes many forms, including elaborate rope bondage, chains, metal handcuffs or leather restraints, as examples. Boot Worship - To kiss or lick the boots or shoes worn by the Master/Mistress. Bottom - Sometimes used as another term for submissive, but to be more accurate, this is someone who likes to receive of sensation (not always the submissive). Branding - Using branding tools to burn scars into the body. Human branding tools are very specialized -- not the Hollywood cattle brand type tool. Outcomes in branding are often hard to predict, as the scar can spread and blur differently depending on each individual's skin. Breast Bondage - Erotic play which involves binding the breasts tightly. Generally it involves restraints (rope, rubber, etc.) which encircle each breast tightly where it joins the chest. The breasts and nipples become engorged with blood and exquisitely sensitive to the slightest touch. Stroking, clamping, or whipping can cause intense pain and/or pleasure. Breath Play - To have one's breathing restricted or controlled. Brown Showers - Sometimes referred to as 'hard sports.' To be defecated upon. See also 'Scat' and 'Caviar'. Butt-Plug - An object with a flared edge that is inserted in the anus. The flared end stops the butt plug from getting lost up inside of the rectum. There many types, sizes and models of Butt Plugs - rubber, latex, metal, inflatable, to name just a few. Cage - A metal cage in which the submissive is locked as part of a scene. The related term "cage of little ease" implies a cage which is so small that the submissive cannot rest in a comfortable position. Candle Wax - The dripping of hot wax on the body of a masochist or submissive. Great for mood, it causes a slight burn or sting but can cause serious burns if not done right. Caning - Beating with a cane, usually on the buttocks, often in school-scene games. Cat, Cat-o'nine-tails - A whip consisting of nine strands of leather attached to a handle. The cat leaves lasting marks, and inflicts extreme pain if wielded harshly. Catheter - A tube inserted into the urethra, used in medical scenes. There are obvious health and safety implications associated with this type of play. See also "Sound." Caviar - See also ' Brown Showers .' An alternative term. CBT Board - A wooden or leather board designed to hold the penis and testicles whilst they are tortured. It is usually attached with clamps. Chains - Erotic appeal drawn from chains, manifested in ornamentation (dog collars, etc.), in bondage activities (shackling legs together, etc.) or as leads and other symbols of "ownership" (dog-leash). Chastity Devices - Devices placed on both male and female genitalia to prevent sex. A dominant may put a chastity device on his/her submissive to show or exert control over the sub's sexual being. Chocolate - Someone who is in the BDSM lifestyle (opposite of Vanilla) CBT - Cock and Ball torture. CD - Cross Dressing Chamber - The room in which sessions take place. Can also be called a Dungeon. Clamps - Clips, often metal, sometimes clothes pegs, which are attached to the nipples, or genitals. Clingfilm - The common kitchen wrap. Very effective when used in mummification games. See also 'Mummification.' Cock Ring - A ring made from metal, rubber or leather, worn round the base of the penis to control blood flow. A Cock Ring can either help sustain an erection, or prevent one if applied to a flaccid penis. Collar - Worn to denote submissiveness or slavery to a particular Master/Mistress. Collaring - The ceremony or ritual by which a submissive becomes bound to his or her Master/Mistress. Collaring represents a serious commitment between the players and is not a part of casual play. Consensual - Based on mutual agreement; not coerced; one of the three cornerstones of social SM play: Safe, Sane & Consensual. Coprophilia - The technical term for Scat games. Corporal Punishment, CP - "Punishment" by beating. The term CP sometimes implies a more vigorous beating than "spanking", but the two are often used interchangably. Crop - The thing that jockeys use on horses. A well applied crop causes significant pain, and will leave marks, even when applied lightly. Cross Dressing - To dress in the clothing of the opposite sex. Usually applies to men dressing as women, in heels, dresses, nylons, bras, women's underwear and so forth, but may also apply to women. A more generic term than TV/Transvestite. Cub - A term used to describe a male submissive that likes Bears. Cuckold - A revived term from Shakespeare's time for a husband whose wife cheats on him. The cuckold was always the brunt of jokes, but in current three-way sexual play and fantasy, cuckolding can be a turn-on. Submissive men, especially, often find it sexually thrilling to be cuckolded. In their profiles they may say they enjoy being "forced" to watch their woman/domme/wife have sex with another man. Cuffs - Either metal or leather, and worn on the wrists and/or ankles as a method of restraint. Cupping (Suction of the Skin) - A process originating in traditional Chinese healing, but is used as sensation play and for temporary marking. After creating a heat differential between the inside and outside of a glass "cup," the skin is sucked up into the cup creating temporary circular mounds on the skin. Cutting - Involves being cut with a scalpel. See also "scarification." CyberSex - (online sex, virtual sex, virtual scening) Erotic communication between two or more people, wherein the participants engage in dialogue and/or fantasies meant specifically to arouse the engaged parties. D & D Free - Drug and disease free. (Everyone claims to be it and to want it, so it cancels itself out as a useful term.) Dacryphilia (Arousal from Tears) Getting turned on when partner cries, often in BDSM scenes it's brought about by pain play (after a flogging for example) or psychological torture (bondage, abandonment, humiliation, etc.). It can happen in aftercare due to the intensity of a scene, or it can be part of the scene itself. Defilement, seeing a partner dirty or wet - If you get turned on watching mud wrestling, this could be you. Other examples: food play, urination play, scat play, etc. Depilation/Shaving - Sexual play that includes the process of shaving genitalia, other parts of the body, or even the whole body. Also sexual arousal from (fetish for) the visual or sensual experience of shaven bodies (especially areas that aren't normally shaved, like arms, men's chests and/or legs, etc.) or genitals. Dildo play, Dildo Training - A dildo is inserted into the rectum. There are various sizes, from finger size to enormous. Discipline - Practice which produces discomfort for the purpose of sexual or emotional arousal. Dog Training - You're the dog. Wear a collar and lead, eat and drink from a bowl on the floor, beg and bark. Doggie Style - A sexual position where the bottom is on hands and knees and the top penetrates from behind, the way dogs do it. Dom - A Male Dominant. C.f. "domme." Domina, Domme, Dominant, Dominatrix - Various alternative terms which may be used to describe a Mistress. Domination - To be dominated by a Master/Mistress. This includes obeying instructions, carrying out tasks, humiliation and being dominated generally. Domination, in its strictest definition, is largely psychological play and is distinct from "topping" which refers to physical S&M. Drama - Personal problems, usually self-created, and generally reflective of a mentally unhealthy person. Dungeon - Most Masters/Mistresses refer to the room where they play as a dungeon. Some dungeons are decorated and equipped in the style of mediaeval torture chambers, but the term covers any room equipped for BDSM. Q.v. "chamber." Edge-Play - This means that the scene will be taken to extreme limits; danger to health is implied. Edge play should only be contemplated by those experienced in BDSM. This is definitely not for the novice. Electrics - To be tortured or stimulated with a low-voltage electrical device, such as a 'Violet Wand', PES or a TENS unit. There are both dildo and catheter attachments which can deliver an internal electric shock. Electrical play is safe when done by a knowledgeable Master/Mistress but very dangerous when done by an inexperienced dominant. Electrotorture (EMS TENS units) - Various devices delivering electric impulses or wave forms (e-stim) and applied to the skin for everything from sensation play to pain. It's often applied to genitalia and nipples and other sensitive areas, and as such can be part of great sexual arousal as well as heavy torture scenes -- depending on the implement and the degree. "EMS Tens" is an acronym for "Electronic Muscle Stimulation or Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation". Endorphins - A group of endogenous, morphine-like hormones secreted by the brain when the body is under unusual stress, which fit into the brain's opioid receptors and stimulate them to fire, producing tranquilizing and pain-killing properties that appear to help induce a sort of euphoria; some people report feeling a state of well-being similar to endorphin euphoria after experiencing intense sensations such as those associated with prolonged flogging. Enema - Lots of fun if you are into it. An enema is used to fill the colon with water or other liquid. Often used in medical scenes. Exhibitionism/Sex In Public - People getting off by exposing themselves, either alone or with a partner, in public places, or even in their homes if they're aware they can be seen by neighbors, etc. Face Sitting - To have your face sat upon by the Mistress. The details vary; some face-sitting is simply an expression of dominance; some is a part of breathing restriction games; some is explicitly sexual and the submissive is expected to perform cunnilingus on the Mistress. The last-named variant is common between lovers, but rare in professional BDSM; most professional Mistresses do not allow it and may be offended if a client asks for it. Fantasy - Many and varied. Whatever your fantasy, you can wager your pension that someone else, somewhere, has a similar fantasy. Some Masters/Mistresses will indulge your fantasies. Feathers - A form of sensation play, used in warm-up to foreplay, massage, or sadistic pain, or to offer temporary relief from sadistic pain. Feminization - For a man to be dressed and often made-up as a female, either voluntarily or under duress. Fetish, Fetishist Fetish is a term used to describe a specific area of interest, likewise a fetishist is one participates in those fetishes. There are probably a hundred or more activities which can be described as fetishes, but a representative example are those involving rubber, latex, PVC or leather. Fire Play - Everything from fire-eating for performance's sake to singing the skin -- the fire actually travels along various substances put on the skin, to great visual effect, but the player must be skilled enough to know when to call back the flame. Fisting - A hand is inserted into the anus or vagina, usually one finger at a time. Getting the knuckle spread (the widest point of the hand) through the opening is usually the most difficult part of the process; after this point you are well and truly "fisting." The process takes a lot of lubrication. It also takes patience on the part of the dominant, and openness and relaxation on the part of the submissive. Flogger - A rubber, latex or leather multi-stranded whip. Food Play - Jumping in, covering oneself, one's partner, or being covered with food. The sloshy variety is about molasses, mustard, spaghetti -- all things gooey and messy. A more sensual form of food play would be like placing strawberries between pussy lips and then scooping them out with the tongue, or coating the penis in peanut butter and sucking it off, or applying whipped cream to the vagina and licking it away. Foot Fetish or Foot Worship - To kiss or lick the feet of the Master/Mistress. Also known as podophilia. Friends With Benefits - Generally an open relationship based on genuine affection and trust that guarantees everybody gets laid without making a romantic commitment. Someone you can hang out with and have sex with, but don't really plan on ever living with. Also goes by Fuck Buddies, Friends with Perks, etc. Gags - Many kinds available, but are often ball gags, or penis-shaped gags. Sometimes inflatable. Gangbangs - Usually one person getting fucked by many, but could also refer to orgies. Leather or rubber device consisting of several straps which enclose and restrict the penis and testicles. Used as a male chastity device. Gorean Descriptive of practices and/or the complete lifestyle emulating the fantasy worlds created by novelist John Norman in his series of books about the imaginary planet called Gor. The Master/slave culture described in these novels is somewhat draconian and Gorean aficionados often follow these laws and practices to the letter. You can also find Gorean elements in much otherwise common SM fantasy role play (for example "kajira" for Gorean-style slavegirl). Golden Showers or G/S - To be urinated upon. Occasionally referred to as Golden Wine or Golden Champagne. Q.v. "watersports." Hair Pulling Usually part of rough play and brat play, like biting. Can also be used as a kind of bondage to incapacitate a person's head by holding tightly to the hair. Handcuffs/Shackles - Handcuffs are pre-made to bind hands to each other or to a stationary object -- as opposed to rope or other bondage methods. They have history and association -- police, prison, etc. -- which makes them good for fantasy play. Police handcuffs constrict indefinitely and aren't considered the safest "toys." Handcuffs come in leather and endless synthetics. There's an issue of chafing and bruising the skin, so lined handcuffs are available and best for beginners. At the other end, shackles (for both hands and ankles) usually are heavy, metallic, linked by chain or a heavy hinge, and have square edges. They are best saved for extreme play and Doms who are mindful of safety issues. Hard Sports - Scat games. Harness - Usually leather or rubber, worn by the submissive. The harness will sometimes restrict the movement of the arms. Health and Safety - This is a huge area. However, basically, only ever use equipment which has been sterilized if it is invasive. Tell the Master/Mistress if you have any medical conditions - especially if cardio-vascular. Many Masters/Mistresses are happy to see those who are HIV+. Just tell him/her. Never play without a safe word. Always use a condom, even if the end result is auto-erotic. You know, all common sense stuff. Heavy Play - Sophisticated or advanced activities or techniques used for psychological or physical stimulation that require special training for safety reasons, e.g. breath control, cutting, temporary and/or permanent piercing, branding, burning, electroplay: also play that is very intense physically and / or psychologically, as very intense pain, or very intense surrender. Hermaphrodite - A person having both male and female reproductive organs High Heels - Having a thing for them or wearing them (esp. cross-dressing). In play, they can be worshipped and licked, or they can step on and crush. Hood - Hoods are usually rubber, leather, latex or PVC and totally enclose the head. There are many different types of hood, but some have gags or zips fitted to restrict vision and breathing. Very efficient when used as part of sensory deprivation games. Houses - Term coined to describe groups of people in the Dominant/submissive lifestyle either living in the same space or woven into tight, small communities. Every house adopts its own distinct set of rules, customs, and relationship parameters, as well as any heirarchy, determined by the house members. Human Toilet Training You're the toilet, and often restrained in a toilet box, whilst the Master/Mistress urinates or defecates on you. Toilet training usually implies that you receive the excrement in your mouth, as opposed to "showers" where the waste falls on your body. Humiliation - Takes many forms, but is exactly what it says. To be humiliated forms a part of many scenes, and can be related to body shape or penis size, among other things. HWP - Height-weight proportional, meaning your height and weight would normally indicate someone who is not extremely heavy. Hypnotism - Some Masters/Mistresses engage in hypno-play. You have to make your own mind up about getting into this, but it can be very exciting if the Master/Mistress is an experienced practitioner. Ice - Ice can be used very effectively as an instrument of torture. Immobilization - Rendering a bottom helpless by completely restricting movement through bondage. Infantilism - See Adult Babies. Interrogation - A type of role play - can be very intense. Interrogation may involve torture. ISO - Acronym for "in search of." Kink - Practices or sexual play that have BDSM qualities. If you like to blindfold your lover while having sex, you're "into kink." "Kink-friendly" is a tolerance for these behaviors, whether or not the tolerant person is kinky him/herself. For example, a "kink-friendly therapist" does not view kinky sex as "deviance," and "kink-friendly" businesses will welcome (or cater to) alternative/leather people as customers. Klismaphilia - A love of enemas. Enema games. Knife/Needle Play - Knife play can be any play involving a knife, for example using a knife erotically, especially around the genitals or nipples. The knife itself has erotic appeal and there's an appeal that comes from suggestions of danger to actual risk. Extreme knife play gets into cutting and scarification. Needle play usually involves piercing; If done well, temporary piercings can be done without letting blood at all, with the needles left in place, creating designs. The receiver of the needles (the bottom) will be getting the endorphin rush. Lace/Lingerie Getting erotic pleasure from dressing in, viewing, or playing with silky/lacy items and fabrics. Sometimes it's the feel of silky slippery fabrics, sometimes it’s the delicacy and effeminate look (for cross-dressers, especially) and sometimes it's the fact that you can see through it -- or almost. Lactation - Getting erotic pleasure out of milking a woman's breasts, playing with the milk of lactating breasts, sucking a lactating woman's breasts and so forth, or having it done to you. Lash - Descriptive of any kind of whip. Latex - A type of rubber used in the fetish fashion world for a skintight fit. It is also used in sex toys where it is lifelike in feeling, but is also absorbent enough to wreak havoc on lubes. Unlike latex, silicone, its fellow sex toy material, needs very little cleaning. Lead/Leash To enjoy being on (or leading one's partner on) a leash, like a pet. The leash would be attached to the submissive's slave collar. It's a kind of D/s play, often done for visual effect at parties. Leather - Leather is not only the product, but also can be a keyword for a type of lifestyle. Leathermen are usually gay males who also are into BDSM. It can imply an "old guard" sort of mentality where discipline is stricter and rules of interaction apply. Limits - Boundaries of consent as negotiated between partners, including activities in which one person does not wish to participate. Maid Training - Wearing a maid's outfit. Cleaning, serving the Master/Mistress and generally acting as a maid. Making Home "Movies" - Taking videos of people at home "doing it." Marks - Most Masters/Mistresses will ask before marking you. Remember that even the lightest application of a whip or crop will leave marks which will be visible for anything from several hours to several days. Masks - Usually found at fetish balls, used by primitivists, and in-scene. Dominants may use them to create heightened sense of danger/arousal in a submissive or by submissives as a kind of sensory deprivation. Masochist - A person who enjoys receiving intense sensation in a consensual, erotic context. Massage - Often used in erotic foreplay. Manipulating the body, muscles, pressure points, etc. for pleasurable or relaxing effect. It also comes in handy when one has held a submissive position long enough to get a cramp. Master - Sometimes the word "dominant" is used, but master usually has a "heavier" implication. While someone can be dominant in a scene, a master usually implies a relationship, sometimes a 24x7 relationship. Do it Yourself. Masturbation. Giving oneself sexual relief or pleasure, whether male or female. Medical Scenes - Where the Master/Mistress plays the role of doctor or nurse. Often involves the use of rectal exams, enemas and catheters. Occasionally, body-neutral fluids are injected under the skin. M.O.S. - Members of the Opposite Sex. Mummification - The whole body is wrapped in clingfilm or other suitable wrapping, or enclosed in a body bag. Breathing is often controlled via a mouth or nose tube. Munch - A term used world-wide for purely social gatherings of the BDSM community, usually in public places where people can mix and mingle in a relaxed safe environment. Mutual Masturbation - "Masturbate" primarily means manual stimulation of one's own genitals, but a secondary meaning is to manually pleasure someone else. Can also refer to two people manually stimulating themselves while sitting or lying next to each other. Each person masturbates, but they do it together so that one is being a masturbator and a voyeur at the same time. Negotiation - Conferring and discussing to reach an agreement about what will happen in an SM scene regarding likes, dislikes, limits, health issues, roles, etc. NSA - Acronym for "no strings attached," meaning a casual sexual encounter. Nipple Torture, NT - Any application of pain to the nipples. Clamps, of which there are many kinds, are often used. Also known as Tit Torture or "TT." O back to top Obedience - Master/Mistresses will expect absolute, unquestioning, obedience to their commands. Oral Service - Cunnilingus. Some Mistresses will allow you to do this. Most won't. PA Prince Albert. A ring that pierces through the urethra and comes out of the underside of the penis. There are several piercing and modification sites where you can see photographic examples of the PA. Pan-Sexuality - Letting all sexualities, genders, orientations be welcomed or practiced (i.e., gay, lesbian, heterosexual, bisexual, and transgendered). A "pansexual" event will welcome people of all orientations -- gay and non-gay, male, female, and other. The term is usually about inclusiveness and recognition of diverse sexualities. Panty Boys - Those who like to wear female underwear, especially panties, as part of a scene. Parachute - Parachute-shaped rubber or leather attachment for the scrotum or penis. Weights are then placed in it to stretch the penis and testicles. Pet Training - See Animal Training. Piercing - Either temporary or permanent. If temporary, needles are used and removed at the end of the scene. There are many kinds of body piercing which are permanent, including piercings to the genitalia and nipples. Play - To participate in a BDSM scene. PNP - ("Party and Play") A term indicating the person wants to use illegal drugs. Podophilia - See Foot Fetish or Foot Worship. Pony Play - This involves acting as a pony, pulling a small trailer with Master/Mistress in. And guess where you wear the tail. Poppers - A liquid stimulant which is sniffed. Poppers act by causing a brief, but intense surge of blood to the heart and brain. The "high" produces light-headedness, intensified orgasms, and a sense of time slowing down. (Poppers are dangerous for people with certain medical conditions, like glaucoma and cardio-respiratory problems.) Pro-Domme - A Professional Dominatrix. Payment ("tribute") is expected for her sessions. Prostate Milking - A method of provoking ejaculation without touching the penis. The prostate is massaged internally, causing semen to leave the ampulla, a storage reservoir, and ejaculate. When used in conjunction with a chastity device and ice on the penis and testicles, the pleasure can be removed from the act of ejaculation leaving the male drained of semen and making enforced chastity much easier. An excellent article on this subject can be found here. Pushy Sub - A submissive who deliberately acts up or otherwise manipulates a Dominant into taking action. A pushy sub is ideal for brat play, where the sub must be "kept in line." When a pushy sub earns a reputation for "topping from the bottom," though, the description is generally not complimentary. R/L - Real life. For example, where one has a real-life Master/Mistress. Usually descriptive of a situation that is not fantasy, but reality. See 24/7. R/T - Real time, as opposed to cyberchat, erotic email, trading pics, etc. Rack - Exactly the same as the Medieval torture instrument, but (we very much hope!) not used to the same extreme extent. Restraints - Cuffs, usually made of leather, that close around wrists and ankles and also sometimes around thighs, waist, etc. Restriction Games - A part of the bondage scene. Often where breathing is restricted or controlled. Rimming - The act of licking the anal rim of another person in order to gain and/or give sexual pleasure. (Also called a "rim job.") Role-Play - You both act out roles, teacher/pupil or nurse/patient for example. Usually, only the broad outlines are sketched out, and the Master/Mistress runs and controls the play. Almost all BDSM involves some level of role-play. Rubber, Latex, PVC - Worn or used in scenes. It is possible to acquire a massive wardrobe of clothing and toys. S&M - Sadism and masochism. S.S.C - Safe, Sane, Consensual. What all your scenes should be. Sadist - Person who enjoys giving intense sensation (usually pain) in a consensual SM context. Safety - Make sure you negotiate exactly where you want to go with the Master/Mistress. Ensure that you fully explain your limits. No good Master/Mistress will exceed your limits. See 'Safe-Word', below. Safe-Word - Any Master/Mistress worth her salt will give you a safe-word before you start playing. Use of the word instantly stops play, and is used when your limits have been reached. Remember, fantasy is a long way from reality. You may not like what is being done to you. Never play without a safe-word. Scarification - To be cut and scarred. The scars are often stylized, and displayed in the same way as tattoos. Scat - Playing with excrement; being used as a toilet. Scene - BDSM generally is referred to as 'The Scene.' 'To Scene' is to play BDSM games. School Room - Where schoolboy/schoolgirl/teacher scenes are played out, with the Master/Mistress acting as the teacher. Sensory Deprivation - Using blindfolds, gags, ear plugs, hoods, bondage, etc. to reduce information available to one or more senses. Service - Doing for another; the bottom for the Top, as an expression of obedience, respect, submission, devotion, love, etc. Sex - Vaginal or oral sex may be the culmination of games played privately between couples, but it is rarely if ever part of professional domination. The vast majority of professional mistresses will not have sex of any kind with their clients, and will be angered by any suggestion that they should. Sex Club - A private building or space where people have casual sex with each other. Sex Party - An orgy with group sex. Sissy Boy, Sissification Much like Panty Boy, above. Sissification means enforced feminization. Slave, Slave-Slut - Some Dominas will expect you to behave exactly like a slave. Slaves are often referred to as slave-sluts Slave - Person who is consensually owned as property of another. Smoke - The Master/Mistress will exhale cigarette smoke, often into the filter tube of a gas mask worn by the sub. Any game involving cigarette or cigar smoke. Snake Bite - A rubber suction cup is applied to the skin. Be aware that it leaves a mark like a love-bite. Sound - Metal medical instrument which is inserted into the urethra. Occasionally, a lubricated cotton bud is used instead of metal. Speculum - Metal medical instrument which is used to open and expand the anus or vagina. Spreader Bars - A rigid bar attached to ankle or wrist cuffs. Designed to hold the legs or arms apart. St. Andrew's Cross - A diagonal cross upon which the submissive is tied. Stand and Deliver - A sexual position where both partners are standing with the inserting partner behind the receptive partner. STDs - Acronym for Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Also STIs (where "I" is illnesses, more often seen in UK). Strap-On, Strap-On Games - The Master/Mistress wears a latex penis strap-on and you are expected to receive it. Submissive, Sub - Master/Mistress is the Dominant, you are the submissive. Subspace - A trance-like, euphoric state brought on by the release of endorphins (during heavy pain games) in the submissive partner. Suspension - Being hung up, or suspended, by the tied wrists, wrists and ankles or even feet. Switch - A person who can 'switch' between being either a Dominant or a submissive. Switching is quite common amongst lifestyle Masters/Mistresses, but is rarely part of professional sessions. TENS Unit - Battery powered device for delivering a low-voltage electric shock. Toilet Box - Laying on your back, a toilet box is a purpose-built box, with a toilet seat on top, which fits round the head. Master/Mistress then sits on the box. Topping from the Bottom - See Pushy Sub. Torture - Generic term for activities which occur during a scene. Can be from mild to extreme. Toy - Equipment used in an SM scene; aka, tool, gear, equipment. TPE, Total Power Exchange - It’s the condition of a relationship in which no impediment to the exercise of the owner's power is accepted. Sometimes goes with 24/7, but not always. Transgender, TG - You will find many meanings for "Transgender" in common parlance so you must look to other cues in a person's conversation to determine how the speaker intends the term. It usually refers to someone who operates as or identifies as a person of the opposite sex to their biological or birth sex. Such a person is not necessarily in sex reassignment therapy, or planning to go into it, as in "transsexual," though people will sometimes use the terms interchangeably. Some use the term "transgendered" to imply a sexual identity that is gender-neutral, ambiguous, or that has characteristics of both genders at once. Finally, you may see the term used to cover all gender bending issues in general -- in this case it would include transsexual, transvestite, and hermaphrodite. Transsexual (TS, TG, transgender) - An individual who identifies with a gender other than their own "assigned" or birth gender. These individuals often choose to alter their body (through surgery and gender reassignment therapy) in order to more accurately reflect their personal orientation/identification. Tribute - The money that is paid to a Pro-Domme as a fee for a session. TV, Transvestism - Dressing like a member of the opposite sex, usually in a very convincing manner. The term TV, as opposed to cross-dresser or CD, is sometimes used specifically to indicate someone who gets fetishistic pleasure from dressing. Urolagnia - See Watersports, WS. Vanilla - Descriptive of people who are not active in the BDSM scene; e.g. "vanilla sex." Violet Wand - Low-voltage electrical device which produces static electricity. Used to torture and/or stimulate the penis, scrotum and anus. Virtual Life/Virtual Time (VL, VT) - Time as measured in an online environment; typically in a non-linear fashion, as opposed to its counterpart, Real Time (RT). Voyeurism - For those who like to watch. Broadly speaking, it refers to being sexually aroused simply by watching other people engage in sexual activity. As used on the site it can mean the person is not willing to engage physically, or it can mean that if you don't want physical contact, he/she is willing to go along. Watersports, WS - Practice where the dominant urinates on the submissive. Watersports includes "golden showers" (q.v.) and may also include "toilet training" (q.v.). Also known as urolagnia. Wax - Hot candle wax dripped on the body is an effective means of inflicting pain. Weights - Often attached to the penis, testicles or nipples to stretch them. Wheel - A free-spinning wheel to which the submissive is tied and rotated round. Sometimes called the Catherine Wheel. Whip - The sharp crack of a whip is a staple in BDSM games. Whips can be used gently and sensually or turn someone's bare butt cheeks flaming red. White Room - As an addition to a dungeon, where medical and clinical games are played. Worship - Adoring and / or loving a person, a person's body or body part, or a thing in a reverential manner - such as boots. YKIOK / YKINMK - "Your Kink Is OK"/"Your Kink Is Not My Kink." YKIOK Suggests tolerance and a willingness to accept other people's consensual practices within the BDSM community. YKINMK is the feeling that someone else’s kink does nothing for you, but without suggesting there's anything wrong with it. |
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